Received some more information...

Received an email w/ a copy of a letter from the Joint Council on International Children's Services clarifying the actions that will happen today & over the weekend:

1) The First Lady of Guatemala (Wendy Berger) will issue an Executive Order October 1, 2006 titled " The First Lady's Protocol of Good Practices." While it "goes into effect immediately," it has no legal effect and does not trump current Guatemalan laws.

2) It is intended to, and does, serve as a "warning" that greater change to the system is imminent and will occur in the very near future.

UPDATE: glimmer of hope but not of the woods

Heard from my social worker this morning and she said they have heard that this might not happen as they had been told. While that seems wonderful, the problem is that the political environment there is so tense right now that if it doesn't happen today or Monday it could easily be next week instead.

I am also not sure I believe that it is a rumor. I did a lot of reading last night online, and there seems to be a lot of credibility to the sources (unlike the usual rumors that are always online). While the embassy is saying it is rumor, my personal experience w/ the US Embassy in Caracas has taught me not to put much stock in their opinions or offical positions.

Its like standing on thin ice. It might not break right this second...but it will break...and the question is whether or not I will be able to get her out of there before it does.

I have read that adoption is not for the faint of heart. They weren't kidding.

Terrible News - Need You Prayers & Understanding

I received a letter from my case worker tonight that said that the President of Guatemala (President Oscar Berger) is considering issuing an executive order Friday or Monday that could put a moratorium on all adoptions. At this point it is unclear if the moratorium would become effective immediately or be instituted January 1st. The agency has said that either way, they expect all adoptions to slow down significantly.

Of course all of it right now is a bunch of "I don't knows." But, it sounds like the options are bad and terrible. Any hope of getting that out of pgn phone call in the next few weeks is gone. Theoretically I could still have her home by Christmas IF the moratorium isn't in place until January AND my file isn't affected by the slow down. But that is incredibly unlikely.

There is a lot of history tied to this, and if you want to read more about it I suggest guadadopt.com That page explains how this is tied to the Hague Treaty controversies, a "donation" by UNICEF to First Lady Wendy Berger's charity (she is very against adoption) and possible constitutional violations in all of this. But, regardless of its legality, it looks like it may happen.

I have sobbed and cried and cried some more. I know she is a great home, but the thing is I want her in my home.

Please don't ask me about this when you see me. I am trying to hold it together and having to explain it to everyone will just lead to me crying 10 times a day. I am not strong enough for that, so I appreciate your sensitivity and understanding. As soon as I learn ANYTHING I will post something.

Specific prayer requests:
1) That President Oscar Berger does not impose a moratorium on adoptions;
2) If a moratorium is implemented that it exempts the adoptions currently in the system;
3) That despite the imposition or lack of imposition of a moratorium that the process doesn't slow down.

Thank you for your ongoing sensitivity, support, prayers and words of encouragement.

Waiting To Get Kicked Out

I had a good talk with my case manager on Wednesday evening. While she didn't have any "news," she did help me understand something I was confused about.

I had assumed that my lawyer in Guatemala could submit an addendum of sorts and have it catch up to my file/dossier in PGN. So - I had thought that the corrected birth certificate and my Pre-Approval Certification from the US Embassy were already part of my file and that I was just waiting for approval. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. I have to wait to be kicked out of PGN (technically called a "previo") before the lawyer can submit the two things I know are wrong. Then, once resubmitted, I go back in the pile with everyone else - not to the front and not necessarily to the same reviewer. And, basically the clock starts over again. Of course, I could have been kicked out and re-submitted already this week and not know it, but it could also be a long wait just to get back to the start line.

It is difficult trying to prepare myself for a wait of a few more months when I know it COULD be next month and it could be spring. But - my case manager assured me that there is still "great hope" to have her home by the end of the year. It is 9 weeks until Thanksgiving. If I can hurry up and get kicked out & re-submitted, maybe I can be out by then - which should put us home as a family by Christmas.

Yesterday was a very hard day for me as the reality of that set in (again). I am very tired and very emotionally drainied from all of this. But, when I was jogging this evening after work, it struck me that even though this ever so much harder than I imagined, I am still happier in my struggle to get her home than I was before I made the decision to adopt. I am so happy being a mother...even though it breaks my heart to be away from her. I am so looking forward to our life together, and that is what keeps me going through this difficult time.

Please keep us in your prayers...and pray for us to hurry up and get kicked out so we can get back in line!

News that isn't new

I have anxiously been awaiting a case update this week (as in checking email 20 times a day). And, today it came. Unfortunately, it doesn't tell me anything I don't already know...that I am in PGN (have been since July 26) and have Pre Approval (got it Spetember 8).

While my brain knew that this is what it would probably say...my heart had hoped otherwise and I am definietly let down and disappointed. So...I continue to wait.

I am in nesting overload at the house and have been painting for what seems like an eternity. But, it is great to stay busy instead of going totally nuts waiting for news that doesn't seem to come.

I have a scripture verse taped above my computer monitor to help me remember to be patient:
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" Romans 12:12

I am trying very hard to be all three, but it is tough. Your prayers and support are so appreciated!

Happy Guatemalan Independence Day!!

I don't have any news, updates or new pictures, but I wanted to wish everyone a happy Guatemalan Independence Day!

Also- a Happy Belated 4 Month Birthday to Lilly, who turned 4 months old this past Monday. Hopefully it won't be too many more milestones until she is home!

Its been a hard week of waiting. I saw on one of my email groups that one family got the call and is bringing their son home so quickly that he will be less than 4 months old when they get him home. While I am thrilled for that family, it really makes me want to stomp my foot and throw a temper tantrum about how its not fair that the rest of us were here first. Or, as my mom has been known to say in her best Spanish, "Yo Primero Aqui" (she doesn't really do verbs). ;)

But, fairness is a concept I struggle with in adoption. It isn't fair that some mothers are in situation where they feel the only way they can give their children a good life is to place them for adoption. It isn't fair that children are kept separated from their "forever families" while we wind through red tape. It isn't fair that foster families have their hearts broken time after time when each child leaves. And, it isn't fair that those of us waiting get so mad at the people who work in the Guatemalan bureaucracy when ours isn't any better, and all they are doing is trying to ensure these babies are placed in safe homes. So - "fair" doesn't seem a fair word to use at all.

So - I continue to ask for your prayers. Prayers for patience and a calm heart. Prayers for Lilly that she isn't affected by any of this. Prayers for my sanity as I wait. Prayers for the biological family as they get ready to sign off for the last and final time. Prayers for the workers in PGN (and anyone else the Guatemalan adoption system) that they feel good about their work and are proud of protecting the children of Guatemala while also wanting to place them in their forever families as quickly as possible. And, selfishly, prayers for a quick turn around so I can have her home soon.

WE HAVE PRE-APPROVAL!!!! HOORAY!!!!

I got an email today from the US Embassy in Guatemala City, and it said we now officially have been granted pre-approval!!! This is fantastic news. While many times families get pre-approval in a week or two, we have been held up in investigation for almost 2 months. But, praise God, we are out now!!!

Now the file in PGN (see below for explanation) is complete and we just wait for review. The timeline is still completely unpredictable, as it could be 6 months just as easily as it could be 1 week to get out of PGN. But, at least there is nothing on the American side of things holding up the process anymore. So - my prayer request is now for a quick PGN review and approval.

When I opened that email I actually yelped for joy and then almost started crying. They weren't lying when they said this process was an emotional roller coaster...but today is definietly one of the highs, and I am lovin' it.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support...love, Carrie & Lilly

Great News (Baby Steps!)

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for a resolution to the stalled process of getting Pre-Approval from the US Embassy. I found out today that the biological grandmother had come into the attorney's office and signed the affadavit to submit to the US Embassy (the deadline was yesterday so I was very nervous that I hadn't heard anything)!!! YEA!!!! I am praying this will satisfy their concerns about our file. Hopefully I will hear in the next week or two if I have met all their requirements and been granted Pre-Approval. As soon as I hear anything - I promise I will post it here!

I want to apologize for seeming like I may not want to talk about the adoption at times. I miss her so much, and it is very difficult and draining to try to explain 10-15 times a day (litterally...yesterday was 15) why I don't have her home yet and why I still don't know when I will. I sooooo appreciate everyone's support and encouragement (more than you could ever know). So - if I seem withdrawn at a question, please just know I have probably answered it 10 times already that day and please bear with me! I promise to put all I know here on the blog so everyone knows as soon as there is something to know! So - while it sounds horrible to say, I would really appreciate it if you didn't ask when she was coming home or why don't I know yet. I am not saying don't ask about how she is doing or to see pictures - that's great (and I love to talk abut her and show her off!). But, its really hard to have to explain over and over why I don't know anything. So - thanks ahead of time for not asking! I promise to share right away when I actually have some news!

Thanks also to everyone who called or sent emails after seeing Newport News on the national news following Tropical Storm Ernesto.... I am fine, as is my family and our homes. I was without power for 36 hours or so, but no major trees down this time (compared to 5 trees and 11 days w/out power after Hurricane Isabel). The hospital was without power for 12 hours or so, but our back up power works to run critical things. But - you may have seen on the news that our smallest competitor hospital had their back up power fail & were completely in the dark and hand-bagging patients on vents...YIKES! But, after about 8-10 hours they got a new generator and everyone ended up fine.

I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything about Pre-Approval...til then - keep praying! Thanks...Carrie