My Cinderella

So...it has been a difficult week where I work. We have had a number of layoffs this week - and the tension in the rooms could be cut with a knife. I feel very fortunate to still have a good job. On the flip side - it has been very hard as my position had me involved with many aspects of the staff reductions over the past few weeks. It is so emotionally awful I can't even tell you. Today a lot of news got delivered, and that combined with some other incidents at work that I won't go into made today one of the more draining days of my professional career.

I was driving in the car from work to day care just feeling numb. I was thinking about how the heck could I get my energy up to be "on" for Lil when I felt so numb. Then Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella" came on the radio, and stopped me in my tracks. I have heard this song a million times, but never had it spoken so directly to my heart. The lyrics are below...

For those of you who aren't familiar with this artist - he is a Christian artist with a passion for adoption, and he and his wide have adopted 3 little girls from China. Last summer in a freak accident, one of his sons accidentally ran over the youngest girl in their driveway, killing her. It is a terrible story for any parent - but somehow struck the adoption community in an even more unique way. As adoptive parents we - or maybe I should just speak for myself - I feel such a sense of entrustment from the birthmother. I am just so freaking lucky and blessed beyond all measure - and feel such a sense of duty to the birthmother to honor her incredibly difficult decision. SOmehow - the Chapaman's family tragedy just made us all feel that even stronger. Anyway...after their tragedy, Steven Curtis Chapman rewrote the last verse of this song. His message is simple - take time for what is important.

So, as I drive into day care this evening with the actual weight of the world on my shoulders, I knew I didn't need to fake it for Lil tonight. I ran in and held her with all my might. She screams "DORA!" and ran over to me. I told "Diego" I loved her so much and almost squeezed the dickens out of her. We came home and colored (well - I did make myself a "real" drink tonight too) and did puzzles, and took a really long time with stories. The weight of the world will still be there tomorrow - but tonight I am not blessed with Cinderella, but with my very own Diego, and she is amazing, and keeping my head above water in this incredibly hard time.

Lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella":

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,

Without a care in the world.

And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders.

It's been a long day and there's still work to do,

She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!

There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"

"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms'

Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh I will dance with Cinderella

I don't wanna miss even one song,

Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed

She wants to know if I approve of the dress

She says "Dad, the prom is just one week away,And I need to practice my dancin'"

"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms'

Cause I know something the prince never knew

Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't wanna miss even one song,

Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone She will be gone.

Well, she came home today

With a ring on her hand

Just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned

She says "Dad, the wedding's still six months away

but I need to practice my dancin'"

"Oh please, daddy please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms'

Cause I know something the prince never knew

Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't wanna miss even one song, (even one song)

Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

(kleenex anyone??)